A few weeks ago I wrote the post 5 Rules To Help Your Kids Reduce Screen Time. While my kids roll their eyes at these rules, it gets them outside and their imagination whirling with the springtime breeze.
My eye rolling cherubs don’t realize it, but mommy and daddy also follow rules when it comes to screens.
RULE #1: No television in the bedroom. It’s true! From day one, we have never had a boob tube in our bedroom. We implemented this rule in 2002 when we were child-free, pre-cell phone owning newlyweds. It feels completely archaic to discuss screen boundaries pre-smart phones, pre-social media, and pre-work e-mail dependence but we started and now stick with this rule without any feeling of regret. Bedrooms are for sleeping and connecting.
RULE #2: No checking phones in the middle of the night. This was definitely not always the case. As every smart phone owner knows, the cell phone taunts you while it lays dormant on your night stand. If you wake up to go to the bathroom (or because someone is, eh-hem, snoring like Gravedigger), taking a quick peak at the cell phone is a complete no-no. Both my husband and I used to have this bad habit. However, it has been proven to mess with circadian rhythms and ultimately a restful night’s sleep. So, we both ditched the habit.
RULE #3: Absolutely NO cell phones or computers or tablets during date night. Every Thursday Night, without fail, we have date night. We order our favorite take out, catch up on our favorite TV shows and cuddle. While watching TV may seem counter intuitive to the intention of less screens, our cell phones are completely off limits. This is a time for us to laugh and converse while being entertained by the same Netflix Original. Our date time is not the time to mindlessly scroll our individual Facebook feeds or text message friends or catch up on work emails. Our date time is to be 100% present with each other.
RULE #4: Screens are strictly prohibited at the dinner table. Growing up, reruns of Leave It To Beaver showed Hugh Lowrey with a newspaper at the breakfast table. However, in my childhood home, if more than one person was sitting at the table then newspaper and cereal box reading were off limits during breakfast. During dinner, the phone was taken off the hook. Cell Phones are the newspapers and cereal boxes of today and wall phones of today. As a result, we follow the same rule our kiddos must follow – cell phones are completely prohibited at the table in our home. We use the time to talk about each other’s day… and to remind the kids 387 times to sit down, 428 times to chew with their mouths closed and 120 times that throwing food is never acceptable (this last one is for our 19 month old).
RULE #5: Do Not Disturb MUST be turned on at bedtime. Buzzes, bings, screens brightly flashing in a dark room… it is enough to drive a light sleeper bonkers. That light sleeper is me. My husband sleeps so soundly he ‘wouldn’t hear a dump trunk driving into a nitroglycerin plant.’* I, on the other hand, jump out of bed at the slightest vibration from his smart watch. So, aligned with no television in the bedroom and no checking our phones in the middle of the night, this rule is equally important!
While these 5 rules help our marriage and family life, we have a long way to go in improving our addiction to the dopamine rush injected with every beep and vibration. Luckily, this is a strong foundation and has kept us communicating and happily married for almost 17 years.
Do you follow any of these rules? If not, will you try one of them? Let us know what you think in the comments below!
- Thank you John Hughes for your witty screenplay, National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, November 30, 1989, and the many wonderful, entertaining quotes it provides.
Photo Credit: Oleg Magni on Unsplash